If my Ex doesn’t pop a major blood vessel in his head this week, I will declare it a victory. The poor thing has been oh-so-stressed about the appliance fiasco which finally culminated yesterday in the arrival of a washer and dryer (nearly one full month after their originally planned delivery date).

The new washer and dryer, which are the smallest ones we could find that still qualify as standard size, are still too large. When our place was being built, it appears the laundry room was not constructed according to the blueprints. The few inches they shaved off (I think by accident) mean the difference between a nice laundry room and two white albatross’ sticking out into my hallway. Not to mention the fact that we no longer have an accessible linen closet.

My poor Ex paces the house, green tape measure in hand, occasionally pausing to examine the dimensions of a door way or a wall. I think he keeps hoping that if he measures walls enough, they will somehow change. Up til now, there has been no luck on that front. But he’s holding out hope.

(Sometimes, the tape measure sleeps beside my Ex, resting delicately on the night table. I can only imagine this is so that upon awakening, my Ex loses no time in resuming his home examination.)

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that we are probably going to have to reconfigure some walls in our *brand new* house. It’s frustrating, especially since they were drawn correctly in the plans - they just weren’t built that way.

I’m not sure how well my Ex is going to hold up during the construction process.

I’m planning to go and cause some hell. Why? Because I am a woman without laundry.

My new washer and dryer were supposed to be here two weeks ago. But, they didn’t fit and we had to exchange them. So Best Buy promised to have our new ones here tomorrow. Then, this afternoon, they left a voicemail saying they would “probably be here in about a week.” What? What does that even mean? What exactly is probably? How do they not have clarity into this? Aren’t we in a recession? Aren’t retailers suffering? If you want our business, you better not “probably” bring me my washer and dryer - you better get them here. Now.

I have been wearing a really eclectic collection of outfits lately. The Ex and I only packed clothes for about 5 days - the amount of time we expected it would take for our washer and dryer to arrive. Since they haven’t, I have been mixing and matching the same two pairs of pants with three or four shirts. Underwear gets washed in the sink. The Ex wears whatever he finds on the floor; Gavin wears the cleanest clothes I can find for him.

It’s a sad state. Tomorrow is my office holiday party and the attire is semi-formal. The best I can do with what is clean are jeans and a silk halter. It’s that or a polo dress.

I don’t even have sweatpants. What am I supposed to do without sweatpants??? I think Best Buy should buy me a new pair!

I am not in a good way today. I somehow managed to overdose on NyQuil two nights ago.

I was feeling sick and in need of some NyQuil goodness to soothe me to sleep. I called my Ex, who was out running errands with his mother. “Can you pick me up some NyQuil?” I asked. Since he wasn’t going to be back for a while, he told me to rummage around the house, as he thought there might be a few capsules lying around. Sure enough, I found two of them!

Since I didn’t have the box, I wasn’t sure what a normal dose was. (And usually, I take half a normal dose, since I am so small.) Of course, I did the rational thing and took both pills. Before long, I was passed out in bed.

Well, about an hour later, my Ex arrived home. Very thoughtfully, he had picked me up a bottle of NyQuil. He poured a healthy dose and brought it in to the bedroom for me. He coaxed me to a sitting position and handed me the cup. “Here you go,” he said proudly.

I was too out of it to realize I shouldn’t be taking more NyQuil and the room was too dark for my Ex to realize the state I was in. Suffice to say, I drank it.

I finally awoke at 3pm the following day, having completely missed work. My body ached. My eyelids were heavy. I felt severely hung over. I spent the remainder of yesterday in slow motion, barely able to perform basic functions like showering or eating.

Today, I am feeling mostly better, though a little jittery still. I’m not sure how long this stuff takes to work it’s way out of your system. Hopefully, it will be soon!