P is for Pajama Jeans

Pajama Jeans. It was really only a matter of time before I went there.

Despite the fact that Pajama Jeans have been all over TV, I just discovered them via the internet. I am shocked that my pint-sized proponent of ‘Made for TV’ products has yet to hear of them. He who spent the past year contemplating which color of Snuggie would suit him best. He who joyfully sang “It’s a pillow… It’s a pet!” until I nearly lost my mother-loving mind. (He is now the owner of a magical purple unicorn on the promise he not sing that song in my presence ever again.)

The important point is that I did discover them, though. For those still in the dark about these wondrous pants, Pajama Jeans claim to “look like denim…but feel like PJs” and they just may be the solution to much of the conflict between the Ex and I.

Pajama Jeans to repair a relationship? Yes indeed.

See, I met the Ex almost nine years ago. Once upon a time, I may have dressed attractively in his presence. Well, that charade is long over. I do make myself presentable for work, of course, but the second I get home? It’s a mad dash to see how quickly I can change into old sweats and a loose t-shirt. (My best time is currently forty-five seconds, but I’m working daily to improve that.)

The Ex has been lamenting this shift. In his defense, the transition is quite drastic.

Looking this good is hard work!
So at night, I love me some pink

He has begun referring to me as “a sweatpants person.” I take it as a compliment, but I don’t think he intends it that way. He’d like to see me stay a little fancier; I’d like to be cozy. Enter Pajama Jeans!

For just $39.95 (so much cheaper than my beloved Hudsons!) you get a rivet-emblazoned pair of Pajama Jeans. And… you ALSO get a plain gray t-shirt. It’s like they designed these pants especially for me and my Ex! I’ll take 100, please.

And just as I was all set to order a pallet of Pajama Jeans, I found out – they don’t make them in my size! At 5’2, I’m quite petite. I have a 25 inch waist, which is small, sure, but it’s not THAT small. According to Pajama Jeans, an extra small (the smallest size they make) is a 28 inch waist. Their website claims that “Pajama Jeans fit every figure!” but that just isn’t true.

Pajama Jeans, you have let me down. If not for your discriminatory sizing, you would truly be the perfect pant. In fact, you would be the only pant I would ever need to own. Goodbye designer jeans – hello Pajama Jeans! I could wear you to sleep and then roll out of bed and wear you straight to work without ever having to change! (Or, apparently, shower.)

But if you are too big and baggy on me, you’ll just look like sweatpants. Which is precisely what we’re trying what we’re trying to avoid here. So, Pajama Jeans, please make some sizes for small ladies like myself. I will totally rock your denim pjs if you do.

The Ex thanks you in advance.

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