School Germ Overload

It happened. Again. I have once more acquired some illness that, prior to having a kid, I had never heard of. In the past, we’ve seen: cellulitis, hand-foot-and-mouth, and a deviated septum (courtesy of a diapered bottom to the face). This time? Fifth Disease.

It started yesterday, while I was at work. My cheeks were beginning to tingle and then itch, getting worse as the day dragged on. Finally, I went to the bathroom to find that my cheeks were bright pink. I looked like I had been slapped. It’s 24 hours later, and I somehow look worse. According to the Interwebs, my appearance is going to continue deteriorating before it gets better. Which is, of course, awesome.

G has managed the impressive feat of bringing daycare germs home to me while not getting sick with them himself. Again, I say, awesome. It’s not that I want him to be sick, too – of course not. It’s just that I would rather he leave the germs at school instead of dutifully bringing each and every one home to me like some sort of obedient little carrier pigeon.

According to my friends over at the Skinny Scoop, 48% of moms report sending their kids to school while sick.

I keep trying to get all huffy and indignant over this, but it’s hard to get worked up over something you know you have done yourself. That takes more cognitive dissonance than even I am capable of. Plus, I do NOT want to become the mom at school (who shall remain nameless, in case god forbid she ever read this blog) who tries to *figure out* which kid is responsible for getting hers sick. I do often wonder how successful she is at figuring it out and what tactics she employs. Does she request mucus samples from each kid (not that THOSE would be hard to acquire)? Does she point-blank ask the other parents if their kid has been sick recently? How much time does she spend investigating? And, what is the ROI on this activity?

Let’s just hope she doesn’t try to figure out whose kid coined the jingle entitled, “Oh, Damn It,” or the equally popular, “Jesus F-ing Christ.”

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