With all the holiday sales happening, this Jew decided to take advantage of the situation and buy herself a little present (since, you know, I pretty much miss out on the Christmas gifts).
I found an awesome pair of Hudson jeans on sale for $100. Excited to receive my new treat, I rushed them to my house via 2-day delivery. They were scheduled to arrive on December 24th.
December 24th: No jeans.
December 25th: No mail due to holiday. I sit and lament lack of jeans and lack of mail.
December 26th: No jeans.
December 27th: No jeans. I send angry letter to UPS and store where said jeans were purchased.
December 28th: UPS says they “cannot locate” my jeans’ whereabouts after December 24th, the last time they were in their system. Store where jeans were purchased launches “investigation.”
December 29th: UPS arrives at our door! With a package! …..For my Ex. I conclude the jeans have been stolen. Yelling and stomping ensues. My Ex tells me I’m crazy.
My Ex is getting sick of me talking about my jeans – in fact, he claimed I was acting like an adolescent. (Admittedly, I probably am, but I don’t care.) My theory is that the jeans were stolen by a UPS worker. They came from a well-known, high-end store that puts their logo on the outside of the package. When stated in the strong form (“UPS obviously stole my jeans”), my Ex uses this theory as further evidence of my lack of logic. He has accused me of treating this like a national security issue.
But really I just want my poor, missing jeans. Where oh where can they be?