You know, I don’t even find this stuff shocking anymore. GOP Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s 17 year old daughter, Bristol, is 5 months pregnant. She is a senior in high school who is planning on keeping her baby and marrying its father. Her pro-life, deeply Christian mom has said that she is very proud of Bristol for having her baby and is excited to become a grandmother.

See, that’s where Jewish mothers are different. First of all, Jewish mothers are pro-not being humiliated by their children. Had I gotten pregnant at 17, my mother would have driven me to an abortion clinic so fast that she would have burned the rubber off her tires. And the whole way there, she would have made it abundantly clear just how not proud she was.

And, were I stupid enough to try to marry the teenage boy who knocked me up, my Jewish mother would have laughed. Hard. Then she undoubtedly would have locked me in my room (just in case). Next, she would have driven over to said boy’s house and threatened his life, thus eliminating all possibility of my ever speaking to him again, let alone marrying him.

I guess I just can’t understand mothers who don’t judge their children. Where is the guilt? The shame? The feelings of disappointment? What kind of half-assed parenting is this? And if Sarah Palin can’t even get tough with her own kids, how the hell could she handle Putin?

McCain should have picked a Jew. That’s all I’m saying.