A Letter to God (From a Desperate Atheist Mother)

Dear God,

I know I proclaim not to believe in you. And while that is true, I hope you can overlook this small infraction, should you in fact turn out to be true, and help me. Please. (I would have added a “for the love of God” to the end of that, but I don’t know what your sense of humor is like.)

You see, a while ago you blessed me with a sweet, easy going baby boy who would happily and quietly drift off to sleep each night. Well, that boy is two years old now. And while he is still sweet and easy going, no longer does he drift off to sleep. Now, it takes anywhere between 2 – 3┬áhours from the time I announce “Bedtime!” to when he actually falls asleep.

First, we sit on the floor in his room and read a couple of stories. Then I put him in his crib and he reads quietly with his light on. During the next hour, he calls me back in, with every excuse in the world to come out.

“I need more apple juice.”

“I got an owie.”

“I need to change my diaper.”

“I need another book.”

“Mommy pick an engine.” (We play a game where he tries to guess the engine from Thomas and Friends that I am thinking of.)

The list goes on and on, God. Finally, I tell him enough is enough and he needs to go to sleep. (This is usually around 9:30 pm.) Realizing I am serious, he breaks into tears, which usually persist, on and off, for another hour or so. Finally, around 10:30 pm, Gavin *finally* falls asleep.

Two hours seems like a long bedtime ritual. How does he still have energy? His dad and I can barely keep our eyes open, but Gavin is going strong. Any chance you could help a tired, atheist mother out and return my easy-to-sleep baby to me?

Sincerely and tiredly,


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3 Replies to “A Letter to God (From a Desperate Atheist Mother)”

  1. You are afflicted with the Sleepless Curse of the Only Child (pause for dramatic music). A second baby causes the older one to be so busy “helping out” they can’t wait to go to bed, either to rest or to get away from the brother/sister. A third child spends his/her entire day trying to keep up with the older children, they are pooped by bed time and no problem to put down.

    Unfortunately, it doesn’t solve the general fatigue issue since you and Dad are far more exhausted now looking after three kids.

    I feel your pain.

    Love the blog though. I’ll be back.

  2. Ugh. I remember those days. When we tried to get my oldest to sleep through the night, my husband and I spent 3 nights in a row pacing for hours just listening to her scream. It was a rough few nights but after we stuck to it, she figured we weren’t coming back until the sun came up and she eventually succumbed to our master plan- mwah hah hah! Good luck!!!

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