So it’s Tuesday afternoon and here I sit with a massive headache. Today is Day 2 of The Visit (from my mother and grandmother). Here is a brief recap of some of the things that have occurred in the past 24 hours:

  1. The first thing my mother said upon seeing me was, “You’re too skinny.”
  2. On Day 1, they locked themselves out of the apartment they were staying in.
  3. They arrived at my place on Day 1 without the keys I had given them.
  4. I was at work when they arrived (and without my keys, anyway, as I had given them my set. Thankfully, my ex let them in).
  5. They “accidentally” taught Gavin the phrase “You’re stupid!”
  6. Gavin has repeated said phrase approximately once per hour.
  7. My grandmother decided she was unable to walk the five blocks from the apartment she is staying in to get to my place, so she ordered a taxi.
  8. While shopping this afternoon in a store just minutes from my office, my grandmother loudly initiated a discussion about her bodily functions.
  9. I have heard the same three stories ten times. Each.
  10. The entire Visit has been peppered with melodious bickering between them.

Right now, they are at a coffee shop. I am enjoying the respite.