In my perusing of the Washington Post this gloriously sunny afternoon, I came upon a rather startling fact: President Bush’s approval rating is currently sitting at 31%.

Compared to other Presidents, this is, of course, extremely low. But stop for a moment and consider what this is saying - 31% of Americans think Georgie-boy is doing a GOOD job! They think he is taking charge and leading us in the right direction! They think he is making the country better off than when he began his (mockery of the) Presidency! (Which begs the question, “Just how badly does the President have to screw up the country before these people lose faith?”)

31% seems rather high. I’m sitting here, procrastinating the work I am supposed to be doing for my actual job, trying to think of anyone I know who would say they approve of the job the President is doing. I honestly cannot think of a single person! And the Washington Post wants me to believe that nearly a third of my fellow Americans feel this way? Ridiculous. I’m tempted to believe that number isn’t real and that the actual number is much closer to 0%. Of course, you can’t rightly admit that a sitting President is loathed by everyone - otherwise, what the hell is he still doing in office? No, 31% is a good compromise. It lets the big dog save face a bit and yet is still low enough to be possible.

With that, I ask all you closet Bush supporters to identify yourselves, please! If you really do exist, I want to know who you are and what makes you tick. I promise to not judge you (aloud).